Friday, July 31, 2009

my sister is dead

I am in an unnaturally calm state now. I got the call this morning from my mom. It took me half an hour or more to believe it. My kid sister has always been there when anyone needed her. I've been complimented for writing strong women, and my sister was the first reason why. She was fearless. I try to remember her being frightened of anything in her life, and I fail. She would jump off of buildings and dive from tall heights and do all the things that terrified me.

Okay, not so unnaturally calm now. I wrote something for my mom and sister not long ago. I was not exaggerating.

She was my kid sister, but she supported me in every way I can imagine.

It appears she had a stroke. When she didn't answer the phone this morning, a neighbor went to check on her. Mom and Dad have seen her. Dad says she looked like she was about to smile. That's some comfort.

My parents don't want my brother or me to come up yet. It's hard to respect that, because they're in their 80s and moving slowly, but I've agreed to check in with them each day until they say to come. They have many friends up there, so I'm making the call to respect their independence and hoping that's right. But I'll be phoning them every day until it is time.

If there's someone you love that you haven't told lately, take a moment and do that today. She was my kid sister. I never thought I would outlive her. It's just so very wrong.

P.S. I don't know why I kept referring to her here as my sister. Maybe that made it easier to write this. Her name was Liz.

I hate the past tense so much right now.

34 comments:

  1. BTW Will, your sister's name still *is* Liz and always will be. . .

    I hope that helps a little bit.

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  2. I am so sorry. This has happened to me (brother) and it royally regally sucks.

    If there's anything the Local Group can do, let us know, OK?

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  3. Oh, Will, I'm so sorry. You and your family are in my thoughts.

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  4. I am so sorry, Will. I can't imagine how much you must hurt.

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  5. If there is anything I can do, let me know.

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  6. oh god, will. no words here.

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  7. I'm so sorry, Will. Having just lost my father at too young an age, my heart goes out to you as you and your family go through this.

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  8. I'm so sorry, Will. Love to you and yours..

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  9. I hate the past tense so much right now.

    Don't use it. She's always with you. Of this I'm convinced.

    May she rest in peace Will

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  10. My thoughts are with you and your family.

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  11. I'm sorry for your loss. It is such a shock to hear that a younger sibling died. I don't know what you will find useful. For me it was keeping busy and being around people.

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  12. I will share silence with you, because it is all I can do.

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  13. My sympathy and prayers to you and your parents. Wish I could be there with a nice covered dish and a sappy card. I guess this will have to do.

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  14. One of my younger brothers died unexpectedly a few years ago. We weren't as close as you and Liz, but it's a terrible shock.

    She was so funny at the rehearsal dinner for your wedding.

    I am so so sorry.

    P.

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  15. Will I agree very much with what Bill Baar said and was kind of hinting at that in my comment.

    I expect that you are in a bit of a state of shock at the moment if your sister Liz's death came completely unexpectedly out of the blue with zero forewarning. It occurs to me however that you are in a position to immortalize Liz in writing, if you have not already done so to some degree already, in your novels. If or when you feel up to it you could create a character that is strongly based on Liz and dedicate that novel to her memory. Just an idea, but one that I hope may help you to work through your grief.

    Sincerely,

    Robin Edgar

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  16. I'm so sorry, Will. Take care of yourself.

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  17. All prayers & thoughts with you & your family in this time of loss. Sibings share a bond that feels like a deep void when unoccupied. She knew you loved her.

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  18. My condolences for you and your family....

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  19. She sounds like a lovely sister. My thoughts are with you.

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  20. Belated sympathies.

    Hope the coming together of family to celebrate her life goes well.

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  21. Will, our thoughts are with you and Liz and the rest of your family... Ed & Melody (Mpls)

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  22. Sorry to hear of your loss. *hugs* to you and the rest of the family.

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  23. im so sorry, and i totally feel for you. my sister passed away this thanksgiving 09, she was 24. she had cancer and it went away, but it left her weak. then she got skinnier and weaker and then she got a bad case of pnemonia. she coded when we took her mask off. again im very sorry ): christmas is a horrible holiday for remembering, especially the first, which this will be for you and i without our sisters ):
    ~Molly~
    *ps im 13

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