Saturday, August 1, 2009

inadequate thanks, and an update

I'm very, very grateful for all the kind thoughts. I won't be able to answer each one individually, but every one touched me.

My parents are fiercely independent. I booked a flight to leave tomorrow, but they insist they want a week to deal with things before family comes up, so I canceled it. Which means I'll check in with them each day to see whether I should come up the next, but it's impossible to predict anything. It would be easier to overrule their wishes if they were less capable, but they're both mentally sharp, and I think the same principle applies to parents that applies to kids: it's better to err on the side of respecting them when they say they're capable, even if that's scary.

Also, grief—there are no rules that cover everyone.


  1. I remember you telling me that once, when I'd lost a family member.

  2. I think it's important to honor what you need too; if you need to be part of the planning process in order to grieve, you should be there regardless of their capable natures.

    My thoughts are with you.