Monday, September 6, 2010

Canadians, make me your king! Bargain rates!

Reading Prince Charles embarks on lavish train trip to spread green message, I noticed he was making "a four-day trip of the nation that will cost the taxpayer at least £50,000" to "persuade his "subjects" to go green".

That reminded me of an ancient online argument I had with James Nicoll. James thinks Canadians are not subjects of their queen, while I think that if you have to pay someone money because they were born with a title, you're their subject.

The amount of money per Canadian isn't a lot. According to Queen costs us more than the Brits pay, it's "only $1.53 per capita each year, about the price of a large cup of joe at Tim Hortons."

But still, dear Canadians, if you don't have a choice, it isn't democratic.

And maybe you could use a little of that half a billion fifty million dollars a year that you spend on a monarch.

Whose representative, the Governor-General, has an annoying habit of shutting down your Parliament when it begins to get a little too independent.

Also, though Canada's current Queen's not a foreigner, she's a non-resident.

So here's my deal: Elect a monarch every year. If you make me King Will the First, I promise you:
  1. I'll serve for only a penny per person. (Beat that, Liz!)
  2. I'll take the cost of immigration and a place to live out of my salary. I'm thinking about a Royal RV so I could cruise the Trans-Canada having the occasional brewski (Canadian, of course!) with my adoring subjects.
  3. No matter how silly Parliament may be, I'll stay focused on what matters: doing the parade wave in any parade that wants me.
  4. When my time of ruling you ends, free donuts and coffee at Tim Horton's for the rest of my life would be nice, but it's not a deal-breaker.
Canuckistan, what do you say?

ETA: Okay, as Chuk noted below, $50 million is not half a billion. Therefore, I add this to my platform:

5. Appoint a Royal Mathematician, who will be entitled to a donut a day at Tim's.